Albuquerque author David E. Stuart signs his latest novel Flight of Souls on Saturday, May 17th, from 1:00 to 3:00 PM at Treasure House Books and Gifts, 2012 South Plaza NW, Old Town, Albuquerque, NM.

Here's more on Flight of Souls:

John Alexander's life has been a difficult one. His childhood was spent in foster care, orphanages, and reform school. Years of emotional and physical abuse have helped him form a protective shell of anger and cynicism. Worn out on social workers and parole officers, Alexander attempts to start a new life studying folklore and anthropology in Mexico where he imagines he will be free. However, he discovers that freedom has its own price and its own politics.

Early 1960s Mexican villages and rural communities are losing their youth to the big cities' modern lifestyle. At the same time, the United States government is interfering with its southern neighbor's politics, fixating on Cuba and the spread of communism. The self-exiled Alexander is forced to flee Mexico City as a fugitive because he gets caught up in a sensational murder mystery and the covert schemes of the world's superpowers. He seeks asylum in communities steeped in Aztec traditions and is offered a rare glimpse of a world rapidly being swallowed up by modern-day Mexico.


David Stuart, the first student in the State of West Virginia to earn a degree in Anthropology, came to UNM in '67/'68 where he earned the Masters and Ph.D. and, later, an honorary doctorate from WVa Wesleyan College. He has conducted fieldwork in Mexico, Alaska, Ecuador, and the American Southwest, where he continues to publish in both Anthropology and Archaeology. He served the University of New Mexico as a senior academic administrator for many years, and still teaches the Archaeology of New Mexico.

For more information, call 505-242-7204.

A Tribute to a great friend.


Seventeen years ago, I was blessed by an angel coming into my life. This angel was not what you think – I’m not talking about a humanoid spirit entity with a wings and a halo, flying about doing good deeds. No, this angel was quite real, walked around on four legs,
and had a thick, long coat of tan hair and a very cold nose. I’m talking about Perkins, my Golden Retriever cross.

We had to put Perkins down on Friday, February 29th. He was deaf, completely blind, and was in such great pain from arthritis, he had trouble walking and standing. He also was suffering from increasing doggie dementia, which meant he would either pace for hours or just stand in one place trying to figure out where he was. As early as this time last year, we knew his days were numbered, but our veterinarian put him on a regimen of pills that seemed to put a bit a spring in his step and keep his spirits up.

Then, about a month ago, it was apparent his cataracts and arthritis were getting to be too much for him. His legs starting giving out frequently and he would walk into corners, walls, or tight spaces he couldn’t back out from. After this, he started falling down, which scared him so much that he would soil himself and not be able to get back up. It was at this point Susan and I could no longer stand to see him suffer. He clearly was to the point of having very little quality of life left.

Having Perkins put to sleep was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life, but I know it was the right thing to do. Neither Susan nor I could take watching him be put to sleep, so we said our tearful goodbyes and left. Strangely, though, within a few hours, I began to fell a sense of peace and calm, as if a sense of closure had come about.

The week prior to this, I had been a total wreck, upset at the obvious decline in Perkins’ situation, knowing deep down inside that the time had come to say goodbye. It was then I believe, that I started to grieve his loss, and not at the time of his death.

The grief came at the loss of the Perkins I loved and remembered. Perkins could no longer come bouncing in from the back door at hundred miles an hour, his pink tongue dribbling and his tail wagging frantically. Gone was his boundless energy, his joy, and his unconditional love and happiness.

By saying goodbye to his withered worn out body, his spirit was freed to become one again with God and the Universe. His spirit will live in my heart forever.

I want to remember THIS Perkins, the dog that saw me through many lonely, despairing days in the early nineties, when a wag of his tail and a lick on the face would remind me that all is truly well. I will remember our many walks through Old Town and Tiguex Park, and how he didn’t mind at all when a little lost dog named Harley followed us home and insinuated himself into the position of little brother.

I will remember the great moments, like when Perkins would romp in the rain or snow, or manage to climb up onto our concrete fence after being nearly scared to death by a hot air balloon, or the time he cornered a skunk over at my Dad’s house and the skunk had the last word. I cherish the time Susan and I took him up to the Jemez and he tried to walk on the icy river. I will remember the time we were with Susan’s kids at the Rio Grande, and Perkins took off walking down the river, blissfully ignorant of everything but the enticing smells along the riverbank. When my mother suffered a stroke, Perkins would visit her at the nursing home, curl up on the bed and provide enough healing energy to lighten the atmosphere of the entire facility.

Perkins was not a particularly active or rambunctious dog, but he was the most loving and gentle dog I’ve ever known. He brought peace and love with him, wherever he went. He never met any human or dog he didn’t like, although he could do without most cats. He was always ready with a lick, a cuddle or a roll over onto his back, knowing a belly rub was magic cure for whatever may be troubling human or dog at any given moment.

He loved walks, rain, snow, dog biscuits, and even his little brother Harley, who could sometimes be a huge pain in the butt. Thunder and balloons often scared the hell out of him, but he never complained, not once. He had a series of medical issues throughout his life, particularly involving his digestive system, but he overcame all these problems like a real trooper.

Yes, Perkins was an awesome dog, and a wonderful companion, but above all he was a phenomenal teacher. He taught me that just being was often all one needed to find happiness, and that unconditional love could heal the world.

Sure, I’ll miss him, a lot, but he has not really left us. The joy and love he spread during his long life is still here deep in our hearts. It is up to us to help spread it around.

THE BEST MOVIES OF 2007

The year 2006 was one of the best years in many for well-made intelligent movies for people over thirty. This year has been much less so, but there were a few standouts in a year of mindless popcorn-movie sequels, and many so-called prestige movies bathed in violence and gore.

Here are my picks for the best pictures of 2007, with a one-sentence reason.


1. Juno. The most original, heartfelt comedy of the year with great realistic performances, a sharp, witty script and a clever soundtrack.
2. Once. A brilliant re-invention of both the musical and the romance.
3. The Kite Runner. A wonderful glimpse into a foreign culture, and into the heart of the human experience.
4. Atonement. A terrific epic romance, with a magnificent five minute long tacking shot that alone elevates it to classic status.
5. The Hoax. A funny, insightful biopic doubling as time capsule, with a great performance by Richard Gere as Hughes biographer Clifford Irving.
6. The Lives of Others. Great German movie that combines suspense and gut wrenching emotion.
7. The Namesake. Well-done family epic.
8. Michael Clayton. A good old-fashioned, seventies-style morality play with an awesome performance by George Cloney.
9. Hot Fuzz. Hilariously clever British send-up of cop movies that has its cake and eats it too.
10. Bella. A surprisingly well-acted, well-directed indie with a huge heart.

Here are five movies that deserve honorable mentions.:
The Darjeeling Limited. This year’s strangest and most lovely kooky movie.
Black Book. Paul Verhoven pulls out all the stops in this very adult espionage thriller.
Gone, Baby, Gone. Great dialog, great direction, and a great performance by Casey Affleck make this the best crime thriller in years.
Talk to Me. Funny and touching biopic with a wonderful Don Cheadle star turn.
The Host. The best movie ever made about a dysfunctional Korean family fighting giant monsters.

Best movie with no preetentions of greatness whatsoever: Death at a Funeral.


Most Over Rated movies of the year:
Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead. Two hours of hateful characters, brutal violence, and people treating each other like crap makes for the most excruciatingly painful movie going experience of the year.

Knocked Up. Two unlikable, selfish characters spout obscenities for two hours then have a baby. This is funny how?

The Write Stuff.

You may have noticed a spurt in the posting activity of this page. I haven't posted since late April for good reason. Getting married on June 30 was just one of the good reasons. I've been very busy with running the shop, writing a novel, and maintaining two MySpace sites. I will from now on cross-post all my MySpace blogging with this blog, but what appears here won't necessarily appear on MySpace. Get it? Good!

My third attempt at writing a novel during Natiional Novel Writing Month, or NaNoWriMo, has been successful. I met and exceeded the goal of 50,000 words in thirty days; the actual count was 57, 172, but who’s counting?

This is the third year I’ve participated in NaNoWriMo, but only the second year I met the goal. Last year I stumbled right out of the starting gate, but that’s another story. I conned myself into thinking the idea would make a better short story. This year I was determined to make up for last year and prove to myself that the first year out was no fluke.

The good news is I had much more fun this year than the first go-round, and I think that caused the resulting words to form a much better work. It is certainly no masterpiece at this stage; I have lots of work left to do, such as fill in the plot holes, tighten up character motivation, and fill the book out to standard novel length, maybe by adding some more detailed sub-plotting.

The first year I did NaNoWriMo, I made some mistakes in the process that ultimately led to my not finishing a rewrite of the book. First of all, I let it go nearly two months before I went back into it. Then, when I read the first draft, I was so overwhelmed by some the books problems, I just let the project wither and die. Sure, I put it into proper manuscript form, corrected spelling and grammar errors and edited some passages out, but what I really needed to do was go back in and fix some major problems with the plot. I was so stumped about how to do this, I eventually gave up and went on to other, not necessarily better, things.


That will not happen this year. I am leery of taking more than two weeks away from the book this time. I’ve already gone back and written a few notes about what to take out and what to put in on the next draft. I’m also doing more in-depth character profiles and I’ll probably end up doing a scene-by-scene outline of what’s already on paper to help me see even more plot holes.

A second draft of this book will get done, and maybe a third, a fourth, or tenth, if need be. This book has great potential, even as a series perhaps, but right now it’s still in it’s infant stages, as is my writing ability. I have much to learn about writing, it’s true, but Tony Hillerman once told me that writing a novel is hard, yes, and I’ll want to give up six hundred times, but he said, “the secret is to never give up, keep writing.” Whenever I start feeling like I doubt my abilities, I remember these words, shake off my doubts, and keep writing.

For video fun, check out this strange ad Charles Bronson did for a Japanese men's hygene product:

WESTERNS ALL'ITALIANA MOVIE REVIEWS.

The following are three movie reviews I did for Tom Betts and his Westerns all'Italiana Spaghetti Western fanzine. They are of western films of marginal interest to the readers of the fanzine. The Seraphim Falls review has been published in a previous issue, while the other two have yet to be published to my knowledge. Westerns all'Italiana is available by contacting its publisher Tom Betts, or by visiting The Drive In Connection. The reviews are presented here for those of you not necessarily interested in Spaghetti Westerns per se, but who might still enjoy the reviews.

Seraphim Falls Stands Tall

It’s certainly not news to most of us, but the American western film no longer holds the same appeal with the mass movie-going audience as it once did. Sure, westerns get made, but they usually wind up on TV (THE BROKEN TRAIL) or going straight to video (BANDIDAS). It’s clear the studios have no faith in them, regardless of what big names may be in the cast. The treatment Samuel Goldwyn Company gave SERAPHIM FALLS, starring Pierce Brosnan and Liam Neeson, is a prime example.

The studio unceremoniously dumped SERAPHIM FALLS onto a small number of theatre screens in late January, a box-office graveyard usually reserved for lame comedies (THE CLEANER) or low budget teen horror flicks (BLOOD AND CHOCOLATE), and other films with little potential. Clearly, the western has now joined this list. Despite its cast, featuring a former James Bond and two Academy Award nominees (Neeson and Angelica Huston), there was virtually no publicity for the film, even in my home state of New Mexico, where most of the picture was shot.
I make it a habit to see any film made in New Mexico. It’s my way of supporting our film industry. Sadly, this has meant sitting through many stinkers, especially lately, since Governor Richardson’s tax breaks and incentives have sent countless hack filmmakers into our sunny clime to make their “masterpieces.” Some recent examples of New Mexico cinema include BEERFEST, and EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH. Heck, the last truly great movie made here was probably EASY RIDER in 1969.

This track record, its horrible release date, and the fact that only one theatre in town was still showing the film less than two weeks after its release made me think SERAPHIM FALLS had all the earmarks of a mega-bomb. But dang it, it’s a western, and I wanted to see it.

Thankfully, all these signs were wrong. Turns out SERAPHIM FALLS is the first good big-screen American western since OPEN RANGE, and the rare oater that succeeds at trying something different within the genre.

The publicity for the film calls it a combination of “the raw brutality of FIRST BLOOD with the mesmerizing beauty of COLD MOUNTAIN.” That description is not too far off the mark, but it’s a superficial one. Much more lurks under the film’s surface.

The story, at first, seems very simple. Three years after the close of the Civil War, Carver (Neeson) and his hired posse are chasing Gideon (Brosnan) across the mountains, plains and deserts with intent to kill. In order to stay alive, Brosnan starts “dropping folks like owl pellets,” usually with a humongous, deftly thrown knife or a cleverly set (bear) trap. He even finds a surprising use for a dead horse. His masterful blade skills will remind spaghetti western fans of Tomas Milian’s character Cuchillo in THE BIG GUNDOWN and RUN, MAN, RUN.

First-time feature director David Von Ancken (best known for episodes of TV’s CSI: NY and COLD CASE) keeps these chase scenes exciting and suspenseful. We stay intrigued because we don’t know who’s the good guy and who’s the bad guy or why Gideon must die until two-thirds of the way through the movie. Little flashback snippets ala DJANGO THE BASTARD tease us early on, and Von Ancken really whets our appetite by having both men experience the same nightmarish visions!

Once the two men finally meet up mano a mano, we learn Carver’s vengeance steams from a horrible mistake. This explanation twists our initial preconceptions, and sends more traditional revenge westerns running for the hills. Here, the film takes an unexpected, refreshing turn into allegory and symbolism. Suddenly the two men are in the middle of an isolated, hellish desert landscape, in which they meet two lone figures, a wisdom-spouting Indian, played by New Mexico resident Wes Studi (Joe Leaphorn in SKINWALKERS) guarding a tiny watering hole, and Angelica Houston as a devilish, scarlet-dressed snake oil saleswoman, who makes them offers they don’t refuse.

It’s at this point the movie will either win you over or lose you completely. If you like your westerns predictable, with clear-cut winners and losers, good guys and bad guys, you’ll probably hate it. If you enjoy a western that makes you think, challenges you, and even makes a political statement, you’ll find it rewarding.

I fall into the latter camp. The film becomes an anti-war statement, illustrating the futility of war, and drawing obvious parallels to the current situation in Iraq. I can’t recall a western since maybe THE WILD BUNCH which reflects the political mood of the time it was made quite as well as this film does. It’s also great to see an entertaining, action-packed western that also manages to be about something.

Both Brosnan and Neeson manage to disappear into their characters, making us forget their prior big-screen images. Granted, neither has many lines to deliver amongst all the action, but they both prove quite credible in the Old West milieu. Worth noting in the supporting cast is genre regular Ed Lauter, who plays one of Neeson’s men. He doesn’t get much to say, and doesn’t survive the film’s running time, but it’s good to see him back in the old west.

The film’s visual look, provided by cinematographer John Toll (THE LAST SAMURAI, BRAVEHEART) is spectacular, making good use of Oregon’s mountains in the early scenes and New Mexico’s desolate flatlands in the rest of the picture. The final scenes, shot near Lordsburg, NM, look as though they were literally filmed in Hell.

Aside from Brosnan’s knife prowess, spaghetti western fans might enjoy the opening scenes, set among snow covered mountains, which recall THE GREAT SILENCE, even down to Brosnan’s black fur coat. The final third also has a vague “spaghetti” feel to it, thanks to the dusty, barren setting. Sadly, though, there is no Morricone-style score here, only an unobtrusive symphonic one. Fans of more oddball spaghettis such as MATALO or DJANGO KILL might really enjoy this film. Traditionalists beware.

It’s a pity this film was basically disowned by its distributor. SERAPHIM FALLS is a well-made, unusual, and highly entertaining western with a great cast and amazing scenery deserving of a wider audience. Catch it when it comes out on DVD, you might like it.

John’s Rating: 4 Pistols.

Here's the SERAPHIM FALLS trailer:


Leave It To Cleavage: A Review of the BANDIDAS DVD.

It’s a lazy Sunday afternoon, I’m watching the DVD of BANDIDAS, a western comedy starring Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz, while my fiancée Susan is having a nap on the couch. About halfway through the film, the women, dressed in skimpy showgirl costumes, have tied Steve Zahn naked to a bed and they are straddling him, trying to get information out of him. At that moment, Susan wakes up, watches the movie for a few seconds and says “OH MY GOD, this is such a GUY flick!”

Susan really nailed this one. Not that this scene is dirty or pornographic, mind you. It stays within the parameters of a PG-13 rating. This is the movie’s most memorable scene, simply because there probably isn’t a heterosexual male in the world who wouldn’t like to be in Steve Zahn’s place, becoming the battle ground for a kissing contest between the two women. BANDIDAS knows what guys want to see.

This movie exploits the physical charms of its two stars in a wonderfully old-fashioned way – by titillation. The cleavage quotient is through the roof, both women are soaking wet on a couple of occasions, and they always look movie star fabulous. Even the bandanas they wear during robberies are oh so chic! Sure, there are probably thousands of lonely fan boys out there who’ll complain because there was no nudity, naked mud-wrestling or hot lesbian sex scene. Hey fellas, this isn’t that kind of movie. Back in my day, we used our imaginations to fill in the blanks (I still have dreams of Julie Newmar in her Catwoman outfit); get over it. The point is, no matter how lame the movie gets (and this one has a few moments), we still want to watch, because its stars are mega-sexy and appealing.

BANDIDAS, set in late nineteenth century Mexico, concerns Sara (Hayek), a European-educated rich girl who teams up with Maria (Cruz), a poor farmer’s daughter to rob banks run by an evil American called Jackson (Dwight Yoakam). He and his band of men are stealing land from Mexican farmers to make way for an American-financed railroad line. The ladies intend to give the bank’s money back to the people, but to do this, they first get bank robbing lessons from outlaw Bill Buck (Sam Shepard). The bad guys hire crime scene investigator Quentin (Steve Zahn) to help track down the bandidas, but they convert him to their cause (largely via the previously mentioned kissing scene). He ends up helping them rob more banks, and foil Jackson’s plans.

The movie is a hybrid of VIVA MARIA and BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID, with a sense of humor that owes much to the Terence Hill and Bud Spencer TRINITY films. The comedy elements are a mixed bag, offering clever, inspired bits along with groan-inducing silliness. The clever stuff includes Hayek’s horse climbing a ladder, and a late nineteenth century variant on a MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE-style heist involving a pressure sensitive floor. The silliness includes the pair’s non-stop bickering, Zahn’s repetitive pratfalls, Hayek’s habit of hiccupping when she gets nervous, and a ridiculous MATRIX “bullet-time” shootout. Thankfully, the movie’s lively pacing keeps things moving so fast we can quickly forgive and forget the weak moments.

The biggest asset to these proceedings is a great cast of likeable and talented people. This was a vanity project for Cruz and Hayek; something they wanted to make just for fun and it is clear they are having a great time. Zahn makes a wonderful sidekick for the two women, even if at times he seems to be channeling Don Knotts from SHAKIEST GUN IN THE WEST. Sam Shepard adds a touch of old western grit and class in his near-cameo role, but it is Dwight Yoakum who shines above everyone else. His black leather clad villain is an outlandish marriage of Snidely Whiplash and Rob Zombie. Yoakum goes way over the top here and emerges as one of the most delightfully evil bad guys in recent memory.

BANDIDAS is produced and co-written by French action auteur Luc Besson, and directed by Norwegian first-timers Joachim Roennig and Espen Sandberg. As such, the movie has a distinctly European feel. I’m willing to bet all three of these folks were heavily influenced by spaghetti westerns and Spencer-Hill movies as children, since the film shows some evidence of that. The bad guys are extremely dirty, nasty, and hairy, clad in filthy dusters. Yoakam’s black leather attire seems inspired by many a spaghetti villain, as well as a few heroes, like Sabata and Sartana. Also, anyone else find it interesting that the villains are Americans? You’re not likely to find that in a Hollywood western. Finally, the musical score, by Eric Serra, has a nice degree of spaghetti twang,especially over the end credits, which should please fans of Ennio Morricone.
The movie is more or less a direct-video release in the United States, having only a very brief run in the Cinema Latino theatre chain (with Spanish subtitles) last September. European audiences got to see this one long before we did.
This is not great art here, folks. Its only intent is to entertain, and that it does. The film is never dull and uses up ninety minutes quickly. I can think of far worse ways to waste a Sunday afternoon in front of the tube. I highly recommend BANDIDAS for fans of the female leads. Counting the cleavage shots alone should keep you occupied. If you, like me, are a fan of spaghetti western comedies, in the TRINITY, PROVIDENCE and HALLELUJAH mold, you’ll enjoy it too, because you’ve probably sat through much worse. BANDIDAS is worth a rental.

John’s rating: The movie left me in a good mood, so I’ve give it a generous 3 pistolas.(B)

Oh, one final comment about the DVD itself. It contains an audio commentary track by Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz. This is a sure contender for the worst commentary in history. It seems neither woman has any idea what to say most of the time, causing some long patches of silence. Hayek tries to guide her friend, but Cruz seems extremely nervous and often confused. Worse, something interesting may be happening on screen, but they talk about something else entirely. Don’t waste your time on this “extra.”

Here is the french language trailer for the movie, you'll get the idea:


THE FAR SIDE OF JERICHO DVD Review

I really wanted to like THE FAR SIDE OF JERICHO, and for about the first half hour or so, I liked it a lot. Then the damned ghosts showed up. More on that in a paragraph or two.

THE FAR SIDE OF JERICHO is a new low budget western, shot in my home state of New Mexico. It played briefly in Los Angeles in the spring of 2007, and is now on DVD. With Tim Hunter (THE RIVER’S EDGE) directing and hard-boiled novelist James Crumley as co-writer, it was clear this had the potential to be a pretty off-beat flick. It does succeed at being unusual, but not at being a good film.

The film centers around three middle-aged ranch women; an ex-whore (Lissa Negrin), a bitter alcoholic (Judith Burnett ), and a crack-shot ( Suzanne Andrews ). It starts with the women watching their outlaw husbands, the notorious Thornton Brothers, hang for robbing the local bank. The brothers hid the loot somewhere, and everyone wants it, including the banker (Lawrence Pressman), the corrupt sheriff (Patrick Bergin), and an amoral hangman (James Gammon), who all chase the women off their land. While on the run, each woman discovers that the Thortons left her a portion of a map to the hidden treasure. Piecing the map together, they try to get to the money before the bad guys, a teenage boy, and a band of Apaches catch up with them. Along the way, the ghosts of their dead husbands guide them on their quest.

Yep, you read that last line correctly. But the ghosts are just the tip of the problematic iceberg here. The movie can’t seem to decide just what exactly it wants to be. It waivers wildly from gritty realism to humorous fantasy and old-fashioned adventure. Add in some weirdly surreal bits, like a whorehouse in the middle of nowhere and ninja-like Apaches, and you get a pretty schizophrenic viewing experience. The overall effect is like channel surfing between different movies on three or four TV channels. As the credits rolled, accompanied by an end theme sung by a slightly inebriated-sounding Patrick Bergin, I asked the television “What the hell was that?”

I just don’t think the film makers had a clue what they were doing. While some scenes are entertaining on their own, they just don’t blend together well enough to make an cohesive or consistently enjoyable whole. There is a nice sense of humor running through most of the running time, which keeps it from being a total loss, but the movie is certainly nowhere near as funny, or as clever, as it seems to think it is.

The actors don’t seem to know what kind of movie they’re appearing in, either. The three female leads give generally low-key, naturalistic performances, befitting a serious drama. Pressman’s f-word spouting banker would be perfectly at home in DEADWOOD. Gammon, as the evil hangman, seems to be channeling John Carradine from a bad Al Adamson movie, hamming it up whole-hog. Bergin just seems kind of confused, tongue somewhat in cheek, just kind of reacting to the weirdness around him. C. Thomas Howell, John Diehl, and Jason Connery, as the ghosts of the dead husbands all come off, opt to go straight for goofy and corn-pone.

Is there anything here of interest to Spaghetti Western fans? Outside of the old “put the maps together to find the treasure” ploy and the general grimy look of things, I’d say no. It sticks mostly with American western conventions. The photography goes for big, sweeping vistas, and the musical score is strictly old-fashioned Hollywood for the most part.

Something odd I noticed was that while the movie is heavily peppered with very colorful and downright filthy language, it is also a remarkably bloodless affair, considering how many people are killed in the course of the action. While I’m not much for brutality and gore, this didn’t make much sense to me. If you’ve already guaranteed yourself an R-rating with about a hundred f-words, why hold back on the blood? And about the language, I’m not sure the phrase “dip-shit” was a common phrase in the American West of the 1800s.

What’s sadly lacking in this movie is a sense of “Oompf.” It is competently shot and acted, but it never succeeds at being more than mildly interesting or entertaining. It tries to do too many things at once, does none of them particularly well, and ends up shooting itself in the foot. It might be worth a rental for die-hards, but I can’t give this one more than two pistolas.

Oh, one interesting bit of trivia; Lissa Negrin, who plays the ex-whore Bridget, apparently makes her living primarily as a Cher impersonator. Check her out at www.cherandcheralike.com.

Here's the unedited trailer:(warning there's some of that colorful language!)

The trailer is way more entertaining than the movie!

Latitude Zero DVD Review

I remember when I was a nine or ten year-old boy living in Aurora Colorado seeing both the newspaper and television ads for a movie called Latitude Zero. The movie was a US-Japanese co production from Toho Studios and Inoshiro Hondo, the man behind many of the best giant monster movies, including Godzilla. The ads featured such things a sleek flying submarine, a winged lion, giant rats and flying monkeys; stuff right up the alley of an imaginative ten year old. For some reason, I never got to see Latitude Zero, but the kid inside of me has never forgotten those extremely cool ads.

Well, it’s the DVD age now, and it seems like just about anything ever made is eventually seeing the light of home video. I must not be the only person in the world interested in seeing this movie after thirty –five years, because the good folks at Tokyo Shock have just released the movie in a wonderful two-disc edition featuring pristine widescreen prints of both the US version and the shorter Japanese version of the film. My internal ten year old is the happiest he’s been in years.

The movie concerns an oceanographic research team caught in the eruption of an underwater volcano. The team is led by Akira Takarada as Dr. Ken Tashiro, and Masumi Okada as Dr. Jules Masson (a Japanese guy not too convincing as a Frenchman). The great character actor Richard Jaeckel, plays a newspaper reporter along for the ride. A futuristic submarine, commanded by Joseph Cotton, rescues them. Cotton looks more like Hugh Hefner than Captain Nemo, dressed in an open shirt and wearing gold chains across his chest. Dr. Masson is badly injured, and taken back to the submarine’s home base at Latitude Zero, a Utopian community dedicated to eradicating the world’s ills. To do so, the captain and his crew convince the world’s greatest scientific minds to “defect” to the community.

Looking to ruin Cotton’s utopian vision is Dr.Malic, played by Caesar Romero, who commands an equally powerful submarine called the Black Shark. Malic plans to kidnap a brilliant scientist on his way to Latitude Zero, to cause Cotton and cronies to come to the rescue, and giving Malic the opportunity to kill his rivals. The plans to do this with the help of a half-bird, half-lion creature, some evil flying monkeys and a pack of giant rats.

The whole movie operates on the level of an elaborate full-color widescreen Saturday movie serial like Flash Gordon. The pace is fast, lively, and tongue-in-cheek. The special effects are a wonderful mix of terrific miniatures, and cheesy men-in-suit monsters, giving the film a ratty, low-tech charm.

The performances of the veteran cast add to the fun. Jaeckel plays the wisecracking bulldog reporter as if he just stepped off the set of The Front Page, and Romero chews the scenery like his is still playing the Joker on Batman.

We get flying submarines, jet packs, gloves that shoot flames, goofy monsters, babes in backless miniskirts, brain transplants, and all sorts of G-rated mayhem. It all ends with a nod to The Wizard of Oz.

The Tokyo Shock DVD is a 2 disc set containing both the longer American version and the shorter Japanese cut. I have only seen the US cut so far, and it is presented in beautiful edition that makes you think the movie was made yesterday. I think it is an easy bet anyone who enjoys old Toho movies, serial style thrills and old actors slumming will love this wonderful, imaginative, slightly cracked film. Highly recommended. A.

DHOOM:2 Review

It’s been a while since I’ve seen any Bollywood cinema, so I thought I’d check out some of the latest offerings from the world’s biggest film industry. Here’s the first review:

India’s Bollywood film industry has a long tradition of “borrowing” ideas, style and even entire plots from Hollywood, but somehow these films usually remained uniquely Indian. Lately, though, this seems to be changing. Bollywood is no longer happy just adapting western style, now it wants to be us.

This is evident in the new Bollywood film Dhoom:2, which I just viewed on DVD. The original Dhoom (2004) also took great pains to be as hip, modern, and as western as possible, but now it looks positively antiquated compared its sequel.

Dhoom was a buddy cop action-comedy pairing a no-nonsense Mumbai policeman, Jai (Abhishek Bachchan) with a bumbling motorcycle mechanic, Ali (Uday Chopra) against a motorcycle riding thief (John Abraham) and his gang. The film liberally stole from western music videos, kung fu flicks, Jerry Bruckheimer films, and especially American racing movies like The Fast and the Furious. However, it managed to be fresh, exciting, funny, inventive and still very much of its home culture.

That can’t be said of its sequel. There’s not a sari in sight in Dhoom:2. In fact, if the characters didn’t speak mostly Hindi or break into the occasional song and dance number, the film could be easily mistaken for a Hollywood production. It has a terrible case of Hollywood-itis, which ultimately leads it to an early grave. Like most Hollywood sequels, Dhoom:2 is dead set on being bigger, louder, flashier, and more outrageous than it’s predecessor. As such, it also ends up flabbier, less focused and much less entertaining.

This time our heroes are after a ingenious criminal and master of disguise known only as Mr. A, played by Bollywood’s reigning young hunk, Hrithik Roshan. The boys team up with Jai’s old college sweetheart, Shonali, (Bipasa Basi) a sexy female cop to hunt down the thief. Complicating matters is a female copycat thief, played by the amazingly gorgeous Aishwarya Rai, who wants to become Mr. A’s partner.

For about the first hour, the film is great fun, as it focuses on Mr. A’s clever robberies, and the cops’ attempts to catch up with him. There are some wonderful stunts, including Roshan sand-surfing behind a train, and an exciting chase scene. Unfortunately, this all comes to a screeching halt as soon as Aishwrya Rai’s character comes on the scene. Immediately, the film bogs down into a clichéd, ridiculous love story between Rai and Roshan, leaving our cop protagonists to become secondary characters. The film stops dead in its tracks, deciding to spend far too much time on a rain-soaked love scene, instead of continuing with the fun cat-and-mouse chase.

At this point, style and flash become the film’s entire reason for being. It’s full of moments that exist only to look cool. In fact, nearly every time one or more of the principal actors walks somewhere, they’re filmed in slow motion, with the wind whipping through their hair, and pounding music in the background. So much time is spent on this, they should change the film’s title to The Cool Slow-Mo Walking Movie. And how many times does Roshan have to parade around shirtless? By two hours in, I’ve had enough of this guy’s abs to last me a lifetime. Yes, Roshan and Rai are both extremely beautiful people, but the film just becomes a showcase for their beautifulness. There are at least two too many repetitive, Janet Jackson rip-off dance numbers featuring these all too perfect specimens shaking their stuff. They even keep dancing during the end credits!

I would have probably tolerated all this if their romance were remotely interesting. Instead, it just gets weird and completely wrong-headed, culminating in a jaw-droppingly twisted scene involving Russian roulette. This bit just ruins the mood of the entire picture. Thankfully, the filmmakers tack on a fun action scene in the final fifteen minutes, as well as an epilogue that makes the romance seem a bit less uncomfortable. Unfortunately, it’s way too little, too late.

The original Dhoom was a tight, exciting little picture. Dhoom:2 emerges as a huge disappointment. If it focused on plot, story and action, instead of on how damn good it’s two “guest-stars” looked, it would have been a terrific film. Instead, it comes off as a weird two-headed beast, grafting dull music and romance onto fun action-comedy. Like in the old sci-fi movies, one head has to control the body, and unfortunately, the crappy bits take over here, resulting in a completely infuriating viewing experience. Dhoom:2 rates a C-.

Oh, perhaps I should also note the DVD itself, since it too shows obvious signs of western influence. Usually Hindi DVD were no frills, bare bones affairs; The movie, no extras, in a plain DVD case. Not here. We get a two disc set, featuring a bunch of behind the scenes extras in a fancy pull-out cardboard case, much like those used for the Curb Your Enthusiasm sets. Guys, remember, you can dress a skunk up in an evening gown, but it's still going to stink!

In case anyone is still interested in the film, here's a preview, containing most of the good bits.

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Meet Albuquerque Authors Ronn Perea and Margaret Tessler!

When: Saturday, March 17th, 1:00 to 3:00 PM at Treasure House Books and Gifts, 2012 South Plaza NW, in Old Town, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. For more information, call 505-242-7204.

Ronn Perea, mastermind behind the legendary Duke City Comedy Club will be on hand to sign copies of his book Smiles, Giggles & Laughs, asemi-autobiographical novel about managing comedy clubs along Route 66. Ronn will give a very entertaining reading at 1:00 PM.

Also on hand is Margaret Tessler, author of the Southwestern mysteries Tangled Webs, Class Disunion and Black Widow, White Lies. Margaret will speak about mystery writing at 2:00 PM.

Please come on down and support these great local authors!

For more information, call John at 505-242-7204

Old Town Holiday Stroll

The annual Holiday Stroll is in Old Town tomorrow, Friday, December 1st, from noon to 9 PM. There will be carolling, a christmas tree lighting, free hot chocolate, enterrtainment, and discounts at many Old Town Merchants with the purchase of a $5 Holiday Stroll Button.

Also, as even more fun, come meet local children's book author Cristina Ortega, who will be signing her picture book The Eyes of the Weaver from 6 to 8 PM, at my shop, Treasure House Books and Gifts, 2012 South Plaza NW. It's also a great opportunity to get in some christmas shopping. If you present your Holiday Stroll button in the shop, you'll get 10% off any purchase Friday, Saturday or Sunday.

Stop by and say "Hi!"

For more on Holiday Stroll, click here.