2004 In Review. It's been quite a momentous year for me! Lots of changes, a big personal growth spurt, and finally a year in which I've felt like I really "lived life." Not all of it "felt good" at the time it happened, but the results were all positive. Top events this year from my personal perspective, not necessarily in order of importance:
1) Moving into a new house. The single biggest "deal" this year, and in many years. A much needed change, as the old house and neighborhood were really getting me down. Put the old house on the market in early February, sold the house, for less than I really wanted, but to some people I really liked, in early April. Used the money from the sale mostly as down payment on a MUCH nicer, bigger house in a gated community. A big financial risk for me, and a big step in abundance thinking. Some real financial scares and worries right after moving into the new house, but it has all worked out well. The whole experience was frightening, exciting, nerve-racking, but ultimately joyous and affirming.
2) Following a dream. Finally acting on my dream of becoming a comedic genius. I embraced the dream of developing my comedic talents this year. I began studying stand-up comedy this year, first on my own, then finally starting taking classes at Laff's in December. I also discovered Improv comedy thanks to two classes at Gorilla Tango Comedy Theatre. I also took an acting class to aid the improv stuff. I have never auditioned for anything in my life, until this year, when I auditioned for a sketch comedy show and the student improv troupe at GT. I got neither part, but I do not consider this a setback. It was an indication that I was not ready yet, and that I need to focus on developing my skills first. Up to this year I had never done anything on stage except a few grade school things, so there is much room for growth. I really love improv and intend on pursuing it.
3) Learning about relationships. Had two eye-opening, weird bouts with relationships this year, marked by bad communication, confused feelings on my part, and a poor self-image. I learned to NEVER ASSUME anything. I learned to ASK QUESTIONS. I learned to NEVER OBSESS about a person. I learned NOT TO BE UPSET OVER NOT GETTING SOMETHING YOU REALLY DIDN'T WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE. I learned to never pursue a possible relationship only for the sake of having a relationship. I learned that I need to love and respect myself first before I can love and respect someone else. I think God made these two experiences happen back-to-back so the message would sink in. I don't think I learned everything I need to know yet, but it was a big growth step.
4) Learning to love the message, and not necessarily the messenger. My minister Guy Lynch left Christ Unity Church this year, and it was a big blow to myself and many others. Guy was a major part in helping me deal with life after mom's death, and many other personal issues. He was a real role model and mentor for me. All the politics, grieving and changes that occurred after he left made me realize that nothing had really changed. The message Guy gave is still around and still powerful. Unity principles are what really changed my life, guy was only the messenger. The church is in a major state of change, and we will have a new minister probably by March. I know it will all work out for the best.
5) Realizing that life doesn't happen to you, you co-create it with God. I am learning that you must take an active role in your life to get the desired results, you can't sit back and wait for good thing to happen.
Also, I am very grateful for all the people who had such an effect on my life.
My father, for always being there to help, and being a great guy even though I wasn't always nice to him.
All my friends, especially Sue and Karen, who have been great "counselors" this year, and were always around to listen. They're also just great fun to "hang" with. Karen has also been instrumental in helping me embrace my inner child. To Barbara, Sonya, Sheryl and Leah, who may not realize it but have provided encouragement, love, inspiration, and numerous life lessons for me.
Guy and Jan, for not only being great spiritual guides but great friends as well.
To all those who have taught me new skills these year: Master Mokurai, Todd Thatcher Cash, Kelly Williams, Dan Abbate and Eddy Tafoya. You can never learn enough.
I've learned to live every day with love. Bottom line, do not worry about what you think others think of you. It's what you think of yourself that matters. Do not judge others by how you judge yourself, or judge yourself by how you think others see you. You are no better or worse than anyone else, and no one is any better or worse than you. What matters is I AM BETTER THAN I USED TO BE! This is what really happened this year, thank you God!